So Excited

Sorry, readers. I know that I haven’t written in a long time, but I have been very busy. My sister is moving to Connecticut for work, so I have been spending a lot of time with her because I need to be with her son while she is away for interviews, and on top of that, I have been taking Safe Schools Healthy Students online, which has been a pain. For a class that offers absolutely no credit, there are a lot of demands that I don’t think are fair, but, hey, I need to get that certification, don’t I? It is definitely important; I just wish that it offered credit, but no, not even one.

Not writing in so long has offered opportunities for a lot to happen, though, and therefore, a lot to write about. The break has been relatively mundane, unfortunately. I am at a point in my life in which I feel really stuck. I honestly don’t want to be in college; I want life to start, and I don’t want to spend any more time at home (a word that I am forced to use very loosely nowadays). I want to live with Ray. Luckily, Oswego will afford that opportunity, which is why I am so excited for Sunday.

I am so tired of feeling trapped and held down. If I want to go somewhere, for example, I have to hunt down someone to transport me because I have no vehicle; I don’t even have a license, because I have parents who don’t provide the necessary resources, and I don’t have the money. It honestly really annoys me whenever someone reacts to my saying that I don’t drive. People take their driving ability for granted, because they had resources, namely their parents. I don’t have that and never did.

Additionally, within the small amount of time that I have spent with my parents this break, my mother keeps pushing me to look for work, something in which I can’t say I’m very interested. I have a job; it’s called college, and even that involves a paid job. Don’t get me wrong; I like money, and ultimately, I do need a supply of it, but I would go insane if I went to college for nine months and then came home to a job. I do need a break. Plus, if I were to have a job over the summer, I would never see Ray because I would be working. I don’t think that it should be expected that someone have a job while he or she is in college; college is his or her job, and it’s probably far more demanding than any paid job would be.

This past semester, for example, I made the Dean’s List, and that was far from easy. It took my soul to accomplish that, and I can’t even imagine exhausting that much energy and then not having a break when I come home. I have tried explaining that to her, but she doesn’t seem to understand that I am in college so that I can get a job, not an after-school job that a high school student might have, but something that is going to support a life with Ray and something that I actually want to do.

I don’t mean to be mean or exercise any kind of superiority here, but I do find it necessary to put on the record that she didn’t go to college, so it would be expected that she wouldn’t understand that. My father didn’t, either, and he had to work multiple jobs that, all together, took up a great deal of his life, because that’s what he had to do to support his family. That’s why I’m in college. It’s not only because my choice of profession requires it; it’s also because I don’t want that kind of lifestyle.

Anyway, I am so excited for this weekend. Friday, my favorite show, Fringe, returns, and then Sunday, it’s back to Oswego. Usually, I am not too excited about that because it means back to a stressful lifestyle in which coffee becomes my best friend (as if it isn’t already), and reading for pleasure ceases to exist as a possibility. However, considering the fact that a very large part of the reason that I don’t like being in college is that I am constantly missing Ray, this semester should be much, much better than any so far, and I am so psyched.

About the Author

Hey, I'm Christopher. I am currently a graduate student in the SUNY Oswego English program, and I am also a Desk Attendant in Sheldon Hall (where I am also living). I graduated with two degrees in May 2012 - English and Adolescence Education with a Concentration in English. I substitute-taught in Rome City School District fall 2012 and then came back to school in January 2013 in order to obtain a masters degree in English, which I plan to obtain in May 2014. I love to read, and I love TV shows, especially science-fiction and fantasy.
Email: ccook@oswego.edu
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