Gauntlet

Working so much!

Lets begin the end of the semester! Papers and test galore!

Stress Relief: Try it, it works. If you put your mind to it, it only takes 15 minutes to get your focus on and get that paper written :)

Be Ozzy

http://ezinearticles.com/?Stress-Relief-101&id=2952526

Thanksgiving ’09

So, this weekend has been pretty productive, and that is one reason why I love weekends that precede breaks. Since I know that it is my last weekend before the break, I try my hardest to get everything done that I possibly can so that I don’t have to do work over break, and my weekend is therefore very productive. I really enjoy getting work done, especially when you have a list in front of you, and the more you work, the smaller that list gets. It’s simply an amazing feeling. Obviously, coming up this week is the very reason why we don’t have class, which is Thanksgiving, and so, I figured that, more than anything, it would be appropriate to write a blog pertaining to that for which I am thankful.

Firstly, I am thankful for my relationship. I am sure that I have mentioned it in previous blog entries, but my relationship is soon to be eight months long, and I have never in my lifetime been happier. For once, it feels like I have found the person that I am supposed to be with, the one person who I am going to spend my entire life with and who I ultimately was always meant and destined to be with, and that is an amazing feeling, that knowledge. So, I am definitely thankful for that.

Secondly, I am thankful for my friends. Without them, I don’t know how I would get by. They don’t even need to know that I am experiencing a difficult situation. Just being with them and spending time with them helps me through, and I have some friends now that I never could have even dreamed of having, friends who understand me and friends who I can say anything to, and they’re not going to judge me, because they are my friends and because they are just good people.

I think that the final part of my life that I want to talk about, something that I am thankful for, is the very fact that I am sitting in a dorm room right now writing this blog entry. Not everyone who wants to go to college has the opportunity to, and that is something that I am well aware of, something that I don’t ever take for granted or forget. I am here not only because I took the initiative and the effort to be here and because I worked hard to be here but also because I was lucky enough to have received such a generous financial aid award. Without there, I would not be here right now pursuing my dreams, so that is also something for which I am most definitely thankful.

As far as the holiday itself, I will most likely be doing what I always do every year. We don’t cook but instead go to the Beeches Inn which isn’t that far away from my house. We go there every year, usually between noon and 1 p.m. with an afore-made reservation, and it’s usually a good experience. I know that some of you may be thinking that I have been deprived of enjoying a home-cooked meal, since that is something that you most likely have the privilege of enjoying, but every family’s tradition is different. Besides, I don’t feel deprived of anything. If anything, I feel privileged myself, because home-cooked meals at my house call for days upon days of leftovers, and we do have a home-cooked meal on Christmas.

I am really looking forward to going home, seeing my boyfriend and spending time with friends. Trust me, as I think a lot of us do, I really need this break. I know some students, such as my roommate, who haven’t been home at all so far this semester, and I don’t know how anyone could do that. I would most definitely go crazy. Anyway, I am so happy that there are only two days of classes this week. I will be leaving Wednesday morning and will try to write a blog before then. If something interesting happens in my life prior to Wednesday morning, then I will try to write about that. Otherwise, maybe I will write a review or something. I recall Julie-Jo suggesting last year that we try to mix up or blog entries to incorporate different subjects, and I often do the best that I can to follow that advice.

21st birthday in Africa!

Most people eagerly await the day when the clock strikes 12 a.m., and they turn 21. Then a night full of drinking, dancing on bars, getting tanked, passing out, and being dragged home by friends. All because you can legally drink.

My 21st birthday is going to be a little different. Although the thought of passing out in a bar is enticing, I think I’m going to enjoy my birthday a little more conservatively. I’m going to get tanked in Africa!~ Just kidding. I am going to be in Ghana for my birthday volunteering in an orphanage I think, so I don’t think I’ll be able to get drunk just then. I’m definitely going to hit up a bar after work to participate in the American rite of passage. I’m past the idea that drinking is cool and fun. I’m way to busy for that. Freshmen year and sophomore year are more the time for partying and then the work doubles junior/senior year, so even though you’re of age, you really don’t have time to give up to drinking.

Living in Funnelle I see tons of freshmen going out a couple of times a week, coming back at like 2 a.m., trashed, and loud as anything. That’s just annoying. When I have to get up at 6:30/7 every morning, I hate being awoken by drunk guys yelling outside or drunken girls being taken out of the building on stretchers. How dumb can you be? Honestly, though, what is so enticing of getting alcohol poisoning and missing your classes and getting a bad reputation as that drunk girl who threw up last weekend.

If you’re going to drink (which the general majority is doing anyway), do it moderately. Get drunk, but don’t get trashed. I personally get annoyed at the frats and sororities that emphasize partying, and I think they’re breeding grounds for alcohol poisoning and passed out girls. That’s why Oswego gets a bad reputation about being a party school because you have drunk people roaming the streets continuously. The residents only ever see Oswego students as being rowdy and drunk. If you’re going to drink, do it in a friend’s room or nearby and just be aware that the rest of the world isn’t revolving around your party life and we don’t really want to hear you throwing up in the hall or screaming outside.

Anyway, stepping down from my soapbox… I’m really excited to be in Ghana. I got an e-mail with a power point on it that showed where I’ll be staying and some of the places nearby which I will be able to explore. When you think of Africa, you don’t really think about electricity or Internet, but they have both in Ghana. They have Internet cafes and long distance phone lines. I think too often Africa is portrayed as a continent full of war, poverty, and rural/agricultural communities, but globalization has reached its arms into the countries of Africa and has created satellite cell phone services, sewage systems, Internet, and electricity. It’s not just a bunch of grass huts, which are still pretty numerous all over the continent, there’s a lot technology making its way into the countries. I’m very excited to be there and to see how a whole other nation exists! A non-Caucasian culture.

Oh ya, and I’m going to be there for Christmas too, which they celebrate! And I can’t wait to make Christmas cards and maybe learn some Ghana Christmas traditions!

Wish me luck, and consume alcohol consciously :)

Wii and Mii!!!

You know after a long week sometimes I just want to get away and do something that is satisfying.  This past weekend I did just that. I took a break away from my house, school work, and even friends. I just needed to relax and clear my mind, its nothing better than relaxing and clearing my mind especially after such a long week. This weekend came with more than just relaxing, I received a special surprise from a special person. I received a Wii!!! My goodness it was such a special gift because I wanted one for so long and I finally have one to call my own. The Wii is the greatest getaway and the greatest work out plan, it is so satisfying. I have a new friend one that guarantees me a great time! I am so happy… I cant wait for Christmas!

Dear France, I think you forgot a holiday!

So if you were in Paris right now, you would think it is already December and christmas was right around the corner because EVERY SINGLE STORE is already Christmased out!  Decorations and light toys and candy and its like christmas already here.  I know Thanksgiving is a North American holiday and it is a celebration of starting a new life in the “new world” and giving thanks for the things we have.  But really, shouldn’t everyone in the world celebrate their family and give thanks for everything they have?  I think so.  Plus it is WAYYY to early to be like 100% into Christmas.  It is still over a month away and this Christmas stuff here has been happening since after Halloween.  I find it so strange!  Luckily for me I am having Thanksgiving dinner with the family I babysit for because the Father is American.  It is not going to be the same, just a dinner after their long days at work and school, but it is better than nothing.  I am going to miss Turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie and all the other wonderful things that are Thanksgiving in the US.  But I am definitely going to miss the smells of Thanksgiving and of course the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  

Anyway, it has been a little while since I posted.  I have been getting into a routine here and the days are just moving by like clockwork.  There hasn’t been anything really exciting talk about in the past week or so.  The excitement is wearing off.  I sometimes think oh I am living in Europe, but then after that I think hmm, well it doesn’t feel like anything special or out of the ordinary anymore.  I am not just an American visiting here for a little while, I am really into the full-blown real life of Paris.  Although I only have 50 days left here until I come home!  I have already been here for almost 80 days!  That is so strange to imagine. 

Although there has not been a lot of excitement recently, the next two weeks are CRAZY busy!  Twilight comes out in Theatres tomorrow and I am going to that!  I am very excited…2 days earlier than the US! Also, one of my best friends, who was an exchange student at my high school from Germany is coming to visit tomorrow for 4 days!  I am looking forward to seeing her!  It will be really great to have a familiar face visit!  When she leaves I have normal classes next week then on Thursday is Thanksgiving and after class I am babysitting then having my Paris-version of Thanksgiving dinner!  On Friday I am taking a train to visit another one of my good friends who was an exchange student at my high school in the Netherlands!  I will be there for 4 days and I am so excited.  When I get back it will be December already.  So for the next few weeks I am really busy and then my semester starts coming to a close and then I will be off to Germany for Christmas! 

Sorry there isn’t anything really exciting to talk about that has happened lately but enjoy for now!

What is wrong with us?

Sometimes I get really frustrated when I’m at work in the recycling room because countless times students come in and throw out their trash. What’s wrong with that you ask? The issue I have with students throwing out their “trash” is that a majority of what they’re throwing out isn’t trash. I spend a lot of time going through the trash (you may say that’s gross but my concern for the environment is higher than my concern for my hand hygiene), and I pick out pieces of “trash” that can actually be recycled.

I don’t know how many times I’ve pulled water bottles, soda cans, full notebooks/binders, cardboard boxes, etc. out of the trash bags, reducing the volume of those full bags by half. I get so frustrated because I make a lot of signs (from the discarded paper) explicitly explaining where students should place their items. How hard is it to separate your trash? I know in Funnelle hall each room gets three trash cans, two for trash and one for mixed recyclables. I mean, come on! How hard is it to just walk that one step over to your recycling bin to throw something out?

My roommate and I are so taken with this third can that it fills up sooner than our trash cans do. A majority of the trash that we naturally have is recyclable now, thanks to Oswego County’s acceptance of 1-7 plastics, aluminum cans, paper, cardboard, etc. They list everything that can be recycled right on the web site – Oswego County Recycling Program. So if you weren’t sure what to recycle, there it is for you!oswegocountyrecy

I just don’t understand how so many people don’t recognize recycling programs that are going on all over campus. I am curious about why students don’t recycle! Is it because you just don’t think about it? Do you think it’s dumb? Do you just write it off because you think that it gets separated anyways? Or do you just don’t know what to recycle?

What can be done to change people’s attitudes? I’m really curious. I get so cynical sometimes because I think that nothing is working; people don’t care about anything anymore. Just themselves. It’s the narcissistic Facebook generation that’s growing up now, and they just care about parties on the weekends and updating their statuses via their iPhones.

I know, I know. This is not an accurate representation of my generation, but I feel like this is the case a lot of the time. I do so many social awareness programs, like holding discussions, speaking at events, presenting fliers, showcasing posters, spreading awareness via word-of-word, etc. And I feel like these pleas are falling on deaf ears. Maybe it’s because our generation is facing overload right now. We’re inundated with so much information, thanks to the Internet, that we just shut down. We become super specific, focusing on things that directly affect us, and nothing else.

But we can’t do this! At least in my opinion I think that we can’t do this. Because of the Internet, we should become more and more global and aware. We don’t have to do something for everyone in the world, but if we are open to societal changes and norm changes, then maybe we can help the world that we live in. I guess my biggest issue is living sustainably, which a majority of us don’t do. But, we’re making progress, so for now, I’ll lay my cynicism aside in exchange for optimism.

The U.S. itself has a long way to go in terms of reducing our environmental impact, but we’ve made progress. The biggest area that we have room to grow is in the waste section, in my opinion. According to the EPA’s Municipal Solid Waste (MSW), in the year 2007 alone, “Americans generated about 254 million tons of trash and recycled and composted 85 million tons of this material, equivalent to a 33.4 percent recycling rate” Compared to 1985’s percent of 10.1, we’re doing pretty good.
msw
But, we could do so much for the environment if we just changed our behaviors a little bit. If we just recycled more water bottles or just paid attention to where we were throwing our trash, we could instate better, sustainable habits. We need to take our eyes off our phones and computers long enough to look at the environment around us and enjoy it before it disappears, which will happen if we don’t change our behaviors.

Please recycle! It’s a start! That’s all I’m asking for right now. Please pay attention to what you’re throwing away and question if it’s really trash or if it could be reused.

Packed Schedule and Lots of Work

SO! It’s been a while since I’ve posted.  Honestly, way too long.  Things have been very hectic lately, but that’s how I like it.  I’ve been going to committee meetings for SA, working at Admissions preparing for Open Houses, which our last fall open house was today.  It was great, over 300 prospective students and their families attended.  It went very well and I’ve very proud of everyone.

I’ve been focusing on classes more lately.  The coursework is starting to get very interesting now that the semester is really into full gear.  Midterms are just about over, luckily I didn’t have any, and everyone is starting to destress from all of the studying and library time.  My days consist of work, class, and studying, but hey! I’m in college, right?

I’m so excited because my parents bought me two tickets to see Billy Joel and Elton John in their Face 2 Face concert on December 4th at HSBC Arena in Buffalo.  I CAN’T WAIT!!  I have been a fan of both Joel and John, HAHA I wanted to say it that way just for the alliteration, since I can remember.  I grew up listening to their music and it’s been some of my favorites forever.  It’s going to be a great time; my friend Jay and I are going to the concert and then spending the weekend in Buffalo to go see Niagara Falls and such.  I have never been to the Falls so I’m very excited for that.

SA has been great lately.  There are so many things that I’ve been working on, like I’ve mentioned in my previous posts.  You should all check out the new website, too @ www.oswegosa.org.  It’s really cool!

I’m in the process of looking for a new apartment.  I have a few pets, so it can be a bit difficult to find a landlord that will allow them, but I know I’ll figure it out.  If you don’t know, I have 2 sugar gliders.  They are similar to flying squirrels and are in the marsupial family.  Here is a picture of what they look like (this isn’t my sugar glider, but maybe I’ll post some pics soon!) Sugar Glider! I also have a parakeet.  The sugar gliders names are Zachary and Mackenzie (Zack and Mack) and my parakeet is Cerulean, like the color.

I think that’s about it for now.  I’m sure I’ll think of some things later on, now that I have more time to think.  Have a great week, weekend, month, etc.  Just think, the holidays are right around the corner!!

Still Afraid

Wow, I have come to the realization that I have been writing a lot lately, and with that, I have therefore additionally come to the realization that I have been seemingly complaining a lot as well, and to this, I have to laugh, because I promise you, even though that is what the majority of my blogs as of late have been centered on, my life is not a terrible mess at the moment. For the most part, my stress level has been very low lately, because I know what I have to do between now and the end of the semester, and I have a plan as to when I am going to complete each assignment and about how long each assignment is going to take me. Stress has therefore not really been much of a plague lately, but as I have been saying a lot lately, fear of the future has been a plague.

Of course, I suppose that fearing the future is in itself some form of stress, but when I feel something powerful, such as fear or anger or even extreme happiness (even though I have come to find that, oddly enough, happiness is the most difficult emotion to express), I feel the need to write about it, and that is why I have been writing so much lately. In this particular case, as I have been saying, the future is bothering me to a great extent, and because of that, because that is really all that is bothering me right now, some of this may be a bit repetitive to those who have been following my blog entries, but even if that is the case, there have also been some new developments, ones that really aren’t either good or bad at this point, because since they don’t really clear anything up for me, they don’t help me.

As I said very recently, I emailed financial aid about my issue regarding the townhouses. For those of you who have not been following my blogs and thus don’t know what I’m talking about, a group of friends, basically my best friends here, want to live in the townhouses next year. This was not on my agenda at all. It didn’t become part of my agenda, in fact, until one of these friends told me one day that she was considering the townhouses next year, but at the time, I didn’t take her as seriously, because she didn’t seem insistent on it or determined, for that matter; it more seemed as if it was merely something that seemed like a good idea to her. Now, however, everyone is determined to make it happen, and I seem to be the only one who finds fault with it.

I understand that I am very seriously jumping around here, and I apologize for that, but by the end of the blog, I will try my hardest to tie everything up. Anyway, I seriously doubt that there are, but if there are any of you who are reading this and don’t know what I’m talking about when I refer to the “townhouses,” then when you get the chance, take a look at west campus, and you’ll see a good amount of new buildings being built by the lagoon behind Oneida Hall, and these are the townhouses. The benefit is that they’re sort of like apartments; you get your own bathroom, each one of you (six per apartment) get your own bedroom, etc., so needless to say, it’s an appealing idea, because it’s kind of like living in a house. However, in my personal opinion, the cons outweigh the pros, which is why up until this was mentioned, I wasn’t considering this even in the slightest.

My plan was always to live in Riggs and to hopefully do so with a roommate that I can pretty much count on getting along with (I didn’t have the greatest experiences last year as a freshman, and I was miserable). This year, the Riggs part didn’t happen, because it was full, and so I had to live in Waterbury, but first of all, I love Waterbury, and second of all, the latter did happen. A good friend of mine agreed to room with me, and so far, it couldn’t be any better. We get along great, and there’s a very hefty amount of respect between the two of us, not to mention the fact that, as I said before, he is part of this group that I keep mentioning, and the problem with that is that if he goes and I don’t, then I’m back to square one.

Anyway, allow me to list off what I see as the cons of living in the townhouses. For starters, I don’t see them as being very convenient for students who don’t have cars, which I don’t. It’s so far away from everything. I’d have to leave the house a good half-hour or so before each class begins to ensure that I get there on time, and of course, the simple solution to that is to take a bus, and in the winter time, that is most definitely what will be happening, but when the weather is nice, I don’t want to be taking a bus everywhere I go. I like walking when the weather is nice, not only because it gives me alone time to reflect and to enjoy the world around me but also because it’s a little bit of additional exercise. Secondly, back to the winter issue, buses run, so getting to class would not be an issue; however, on weekends when the weather is terrible (which describe weekends of which there will be plenty, something you have to count on when you live in Oswego), I see myself cooped up in the house all weekend long, not even leaving to eat since their plan is also just to cook at home.

Additionally, and this is the most pressing con, it is more expensive. I have been told that it costs a lot more, since you’re paying to live in a single, whereas now, I’m living in a double, and that would drastically affect my bill, since I highly doubt that financial aid would cover the difference. Returning to what I said earlier about financial aid returning my email, they said that they are unsure of whether or not they would cover it or not but that I should keep in mind that they might not, which sort of annoyed me, because I am keeping that in mind; that’s why I emailed them. Anyway, I’m not sure what to do, because one idea that they (my friends) are considering is reducing or potentially even canceling their meal plans just to cook at home, and if I did that, then maybe I’d be okay, since the price of living in the townhouses would replace the price of having a full meal plan; however, then, I’d have to drop money (which I only get $1,600 a year of, mind you) each week for groceries, so either way, I lose.

There is no way for me to win. As I said the other night, my friend David is considering coming to Oswego for his BA, but the problem with that is that, first of all, he’s not coming until fall 2010, and I need to either make a decision regarding the townhouses or select a roommate much earlier than that, and I can’t select him as a roommate if he doesn’t get here until fall, because he won’t be a student here yet. I would say that I need advice, but I don’t really need anything except to make a decision, and I can’t do that when I don’t know how much financial aid is going to help me as far as money is concerned, and although I hate the idea of being so disconnected from the campus and being in an area where there is nothing but residence halls and therefore being so far away from classes, the finances are what trouble me the most, so I can’t even begin to think until I get some closure as to whether or not that is going to be a problem, which I think it will be.

If I can’t live in the townhouses, the plus side is that I won’t have to deal with all of those cons that I previously listed, but what it also means, however, is that I risk rooming with a jerk that is going to be incredibly difficult to live with and who I don’t get along with, and it also means that I won’t be with my friends, that they’ll be all the way on the other side of campus having fun without me, and I’ll barely see them, and that’s something that I cannot handle, and I don’t want to ask them to consider forgetting about the townhouses for two reasons. First of all, that’s an awful lot to ask someone; I cannot and do not expect people to live their lives, making decisions, for me. Second of all, I know that they wouldn’t anyway. They’ve made it clear without actually explicitly saying so that they are pursuing this with or without me. I am more or less dispensable. If financial aid drops that bomb on me that says that they’re not going to cover my expenses and I therefore can’t do it, they’ll just find someone else. There is so much to think about, and I really, really hope that this works itself out.

Blogging is boring, why aren’t we better than that

I have decided that as a student in a media generation that we should be above blogging with just words….

Shouldn’t we be doing this with video? What if we all had 2 minutes videos each week. What if we could capture a much larger audience. We could even host the videos on youtube to save server space.

Here is what I want. I was thinking that I want to have Meg’s Multicultural Minute. We could each pick our own theme and revamp this program. Each week I could have a two minute clip with me doing a 30 second intro to one of my friends or acquaintances that has some different element within their family, life, history, past….yada yada for 1 minute. Then I can close with my 30 second wrap and what we learned. I mean words can only be so exciting when we can explore so much more of Oswego and what we have to offer. I could even branch out to club presidents and sport team captains. I feel like you shouldn’t read, watch or look at something on the internet without getting some use out of it and possibly be entertained. I also feel like my blogging needs a bigger goal than to just tell about my life… I do a million things and events a week…I don’t know how I am possibly supposed to be tracking them all without sounding boring. I am busy all the time, or I just hang out. Its complicated yet it makes for an uninteresting blog in my opinion.

The best way to market and engage people is to interact and brew more buzz and usefulness in my opinion. Why shouldn’t everything be a resource, a tool or a source of fun?

I haven’t written my blog in a while because I have been thinking of all these questions.

Meg’s micro multicultural multi purpose video blogging…..what do you think?

Could it be new and upcoming? Could it save the money making disaster that is soon to be twitter?

Lets start here. Hit me back.

Be Ozzy

The Horrific Future

Have you ever felt insignificant in an environment that is so significant to you? If not, allow me to tell you how much it really does hurt and how overbearing of a feeling it is. There are some people to whom you could give the world, and they wouldn’t appreciate it. Your status would not elevate at all, because your status is not changeable; you just are who you are, you have the importance that you have, and you can’t really do anything about that no matter how hard you try. It feels a lot like being born into a “destined” caste system, in that even if you make the sacrificial attempts to elevate yourself, it doesn’t do any good, but now, I am beginning to get a bit repetitive.

It’s just that, sometimes, I feel as if high school never ends, if you will. You get to college thinking that everything will be different, and don’t get me wrong, it is; it’s very different, but the behaviors are different while the outcomes are the same, which is that someone gets hurt, because even though it’s typically a much different kind of drama, there is still a lot of drama. In this particular situation, I can’t exactly call it “drama,” but what I mean is that in high school, there were always people, like me, who were being ostracized in one way or another, such as myself, and again, it was under much different circumstances then, but really, that’s kind of how I feel now.

I feel as if there’s a ranking of importance that is consistently occurring just about everywhere that I go. Ideally and I would like to think somewhat realistically, there is not supposed to be a system of ranking in a group of friends. Obviously, in everyday life there is, because you’re obviously going to be more important to your significant other, for example, than you are to the stranger to whom you say “hi” at the newspaper stand, but in a group of friends, I don’t think that that type of thing should be occurring, and yet, I feel that, for me, it does, not necessarily frequently but from time to time.

I really do not want to go into specifics here, but I feel as if I have to if my goal is for you to understand how I am feeling. As I mentioned in my most previous blog, a group of friends here, my best friends here, really, want to live in the townhouses next year, an idea that they have been talking about for quite some time now, and initially, as much as it went against what my plans originally were, it was a bandwagon that I was prepared to jump on despite the inner-conflicts that I was experiencing as described in my most recent blog, because I didn’t care as long as I was with them, but I had an epiphany today, and not the good kind of “Eureka!” ones that happen every now and then but instead the bad kind of “Oh, no!” ones that happen even more often.

This epiphany was one that I am surprised I have not thought about prior to today, but whatever reason, I haven’t. To be perfectly honest, the only reason that I am here at this very moment is because the financial aid award that I received from SUNY Oswego was and is incredibly generous, and what I realized today is that since the townhouses are a bit more expensive than the residence halls, I will most likely be expected to pay a great deal of money out of my pocket since I very seriously doubt that financial aid would increase my award due to me living in the townhouses. I sent them an email quite recently asking them about it, but I honestly felt a bit embarrassed doing so, because I am essentially asking them if I will receive money due to a decision I ultimately make to live in a more expensive setting; it seems like a ridiculous question to even consider.

How this plays into what I was saying before is that I told them about this today, since today was really the first time that I really began to consider this, as I said before, and it didn’t really seem to faze them. The only thing that seemed to really bother them is the fact that now they have to look for yet another person to live with them, since they need six. I just feel as if it had been someone else besides me who was experiencing this problem or who, for that matter, decided that they didn’t want to do this, then the entire idea itself would be shot, because they couldn’t possibly do it without one of them but can without me. As I’m sure I have said before in a blog entry, I do tend to be a bit paranoid at times, and this does tend to have negative consequences in my life, but I have also noticed that it’s almost always people that I deeply care about toward whom I feel paranoid.

At this point, I really have no practical solution. My good friend David from home said that he might be able to come up here for school since he currently goes to a community college close to home, but here’s the problem. Most likely, he won’t be here next semester, which means that since he’ll be considered a transfer for the Fall 2010 semester, I will not be able to request him as a roommate, and even if I could, he most likely won’t be officially admitted until after I have to select a residence hall and thus a roommate, and the problem is, apart from my current roommate who is a part of the aforementioned group of friends, I don’t really have any guy friends here, not ones that I’m close enough to to live with, anyway.

I just don’t know what to do. I can’t help but shake the idea that the happiness and the near-perfection that I am experiencing now is one day very, very soon going to be obliterated due to change that I have no control over, change that I don’t understand why needs to happen, but change that I cannot and ultimately would not want to stop, anyway. My expectations are not to control peoples’ decisions, and I am certainly not self-centered in the least bit, especially not to the point where I’d want someone to completely defer an idea of theirs due to me and my monstrously long list of problems. I guess that I’d just like to feel a bit more important to people that are very important to me. Who knows? Maybe in some elaborately epic way, everything will work out. Sometimes, the universe has a way of self-correcting itself.