I am feeling so motivated, this is my favorite time of the year, the weather is beautiful, the semester is coming close to an end, and I am just happy! I am still implementing all of my plans for the end of the semesters; I only have two more schools to apply to, thank God because Grad applications are seriously no joke! There is something that is so exciting about waiting to see who wants you to be a part of their Grad program, I guest anxiety is not such a bad thing after all. Everything just feels good, I am career motivated, mentally, emotionally, and academically prepared for Grad school. I just recently went for my final interview for Teach for America; I was prepared, confident, and passionate! Therefore, the interview went exceptionally well, and it made me feel so confident and motivated for the next chapter in my life… So for now I will just wait to make the proposed plan for the next chapter.
Today, I actually observed an English class, finally, instead of just a Study Hall. Ms. Patapow was in a much better mood today than she was last week, but she does seem to yell at her students a lot. I would imagine, though, that with the way that some of the student behave here, you aren’t left with much of a choice, and it has to be really difficult not to yell. She also told me that on the form(s) that she has to fill out, she is asked if she would ever want me as a Student Teacher, and although she did clarify that it was absolutely nothing against me since she does feel that I am doing a great job, she would not want me as a Student Teacher. She said that only once during her teaching career has she ever had a Student Teacher, and it was not a good experience.
The students are incredibly disrespectful. After the first bell rang for Study Hall, less than half of the class was in the room, even after a few minutes. A female student walked in, and for some reason, a reason that I can’t recall, Ms. Patapow needed to know the student’s Global Studies teacher, and the student didn’t know. She said, “I don’t know; I just call her miss.” To me, this is very disrespectful.
During the Study Hall, students were talking about girls who have almost been stabbed, and one girl brought up a girl with whom she is apparently upset, and she said that when she sees her, she’s “gonna do her mad dirty.” What I find sad is that it’s as if these kids have nothing to talk about apart from violence. Additionally, I find something else to be sad. A student asked me if I was a student, and when I explained my position to him, he said, “Well, then, how come you ain’t yellin’?” It’s as if they expect that someone who is not a student would have no reason to be there except to yell at them.
After Study Hall, finally, I observed an English class. The class began with, like Study Hall, Ms. Patapow yelling, but like I said,it must be difficult not to yell; the students simply don’t listen. They talk amongst themselves and continue to do so despite Ms. Patapow repeatedly telling them to stop. They began the class either working on a writing assignment or reading a book of their own choosing, and some of them were listening and trying to work.
When Ms. Patapow’s English class found out that I was observing the class and was therefore not a student, a lot of them looked at me in surprise. “I thought you was a student!” I heard. One of them, however, looked at me and said, “You kidding me? There ain’t no thirty-year old student here!” and I just found it funny, because she was an entire ten years off.
Before beginning work on The Pearl, the short novel by John Steinbeck, Ms. Patapow had the class take out a sheet of paper and write everything that they know about John Steinbeck. A student asked why, which I think is a fair question for a student to ask, and Ms. Patapow said that she was trying to jumpstart them. Then, she wrote on the board, “Tapping into Prior Knowledge/Background Knowledge.” This directly relates to what I have been learning in my Lit 396 class. Ms. Patapow said that one way that we learn is by determining what we already know and then building on it, which is exactly what I have learned in my Literacy class. This is indeed important.
This class, this whole day, really, actually went really well. The students in the English class were actually really cooperative and ultimately read about the life of John Steinbeck and about living conditions during the Great Depression. I had a much better experience this week than I did last week.
So in this time of political turmoil, health care and student loan approvals, you have to look at your own views.
I came to college as a conservative. It was shocking, especially since I grew up in such a conservative household. My family wasn’t Amish, but the point of the matter was I was never allowed to watch Rocko’s Modern Life. Now, for those of you born in the late 80s and early 90s, you will know what that is and the implications of me missing it 😉
So I came to college, I went to parties, I went to demonstrations, I studied abroad, I partied too hard, I lived a college life. I got into a crappy relationship, I met friends, I met people I didn’t like, and I met some that I will call friends for life. I got out of crappy relationships and learned the true meaning of life….I don’t know anything about life. So full circle from a conservative to a liberal of a sorts and back. Here I am, still wondering but thinking about trying a bit of moderation to try and solve some dilemmas.
Now after three years of college, I am no genius but I think the point of the matter is that whether your a democrat, republican, conservative, liberal or some kind of hippy in between. I just wish we would all try a little bit of both sides. So I declare myself a moderate for that reason.
I am a moderate on principal today
I know as a fact that I have said this before, but sometimes, college really does drive me crazy. There really is no such thing as a break. Over Spring Break, I did almost nothing but homework, because I had so much that it took me just about the whole week to do it, and on weekends, that’s what I’m doing: homework, so there really isn’t any end to it. This past weekend, I did almost nothing but work all of Saturday and Sunday, and I still didn’t even get everything done. I have some work left to do.
The reason that I am now suddenly complaining about it is because for once in my entire college career, all I want is a relaxing week. I have a really good friend in California (he is, in fact, one of my best friends), and he is coming to visit me this Thursday. He will be staying a total of eleven days, and I am so excited. We have been friends for almost two years now but have yet to meet in person, and now, we finally will be.
Some may wonder why I didn’t plan this for the summer so that we really could enjoy ourselves and have a good time without me having to worry about school work, but the reason that we didn’t plan for the summer is simple. We tried to do that last year, and my mother wouldn’t allow it. She said that she didn’t know Fady (that’s his name) so she couldn’t allow him to be in her house, especially since she had two kids to worry about.
So, we therefore had to plan it for a time that I would be in college. This was the only time to do that. I thought that I had more than just Good Friday off for Easter; I could have sworn that I had a bit of a mini-break, but no, I only have Good Friday off, so we planned it for April. We couldn’t plan for Christmas Break or Spring Break, because you have to go home, and he can’t go home with me.
I even tried again this time. Obviously, this weekend is Easter, so my mom kept asking me if I was coming home for Easter, and every time that I said no, probably not, she would ask me why, so just recently, I decided to tell her about my plans, and to make a long story short, she said that she would talk to my dad about letting Fady come home with me for Easter. What ended up happening, though, is that my dad said that since Fady is a minor, he and my mom could get into trouble for keeping him at the house since he is not supposed to leave home, and he warned me that I, too, could get into trouble for keeping him here.
Now, whenever I tell someone this, they feel the need to tell me that my father is wrong because of A, B and C, and you don’t need to tell me, because I know. My parents have this implicit philosophy that kids don’t have any rights, that they are not allowed to stand up for themselves when they truly are being treated unfairly, because it is the duty of the child to bow down to his or her parents’ commands, now matter how ridiculous. Needless to say, it is not a philosophy that we share.
With that being said, anyway, it would be expected that they would say this. Fady is a seventeen, so they don’t think that he has any right to leave home. Obviously, he is not leaving home permanently; he is merely visiting a friend. Also, he is not leaving without parental permission. His mother knows that he is going, and she knows where he is going. In fact, she is giving him $300 and is even driving him to the airport to see him off. I tried explaining this to my dad last night, but he wouldn’t listen to me. He told me that none of that matters, because it isn’t going to fly if his mother tries to claim that he ran away from home.
Of course, she bought the plane ticket, so it’s in her name, but my dad simply isn’t going to listen to logic. Both of my parents are like that. Once their minds are set on something, it doesn’t matter how hard you work to debunk it with logic, they’re simply not going to listen. Additionally, my mother is very racist; she always has been, for as long as I can remember, so when I told her what Fady’s name is, she asked me what his ethnicity is (although she didn’t say it like that; that’s too big of a word for my mother), and when I told her that he is Middle-Eastern, she didn’t say anything explicitly, but I could tell by her “uh-huh” that she was passing judgment.
As a perfect example, I remember once, quite a few years ago, when my brother had a friend over, and his friend was white, but he had an adopted little brother that was black. My brother was much younger at the time, so his friend (whose name was Paul) stayed for a couple of hours with his mother and with his little brother, and my mother wasn’t home at the time. During the visit, the little boy (who couldn’t have been any older than three) was thirsty and wanted a drink, so we gave him something, and when my mother found out, she said (forgive the bluntness), “You let a little nigger baby drink out of our cups?!” She was appalled that we would do such a thing. Like I said, she’s very racist.
Anyway, though, the point is that most likely, Fady will be staying with me here at Oz even through Easter, and I just hope that he will be able to do that. I haven’t talked with anyone at the front desk of Waterbury yet to find out if there is a limit to how long a guest can stay. Fady will be staying for a ten days, from the first of April to the eleventh, and we can’t rearrange that; it’s too late, so I’m a little nervous. However, my roommate is a Desk Attendant, so he can probably give me the answers that I need. I just don’t know what to do if he can’t stay here, because he has nowhere else to go.
Plus, I am a little worried about money. I’m not 100% sure, but I think that it costs, like, $7.00 to get into the Dining Hall if you’re not a student, and he’s only bringing $300. That is about $14 a day (assuming that we only eat two meals a day) over a ten-day period, which means that at the very minimum, $140 will go to meals, which leaves $160 for trips to the movies, shopping, etc., which may seem like a lot, but if you think about it, it really isn’t. Plus, like I said, that $140 is assuming that we only eat two meals a day; no breakfast or late-night. I’m sure that we’ll work something out, though. I am really excited about this. Like I said, we have been friends for almost two years now, and we still have not had the chance to meet in person, so this will be great. I’ll let everyone know how it turns out.
Today did not go as well as last time. My Practicum teacher, Ms. Patapow, just got back today from being out sick for two days, and she was consequently in a bad mood. I therefore did not receive the warm welcoming that I did last time. Additionally, I had an uncomfortable experience in the restroom. I was in a stall when approximately five students entered the restroom, and one of them told me to get out of the stall and show my face before he came in himself. I left the stall not too long after and was insulted before leaving the restroom.
Other than that, though, I would say that the day went moderately well. Ms. Patapow had me file graded papers, and I also even had the opportunity to grade quizzes. As I have said before, I won’t be observing an English class every other week, because Corcoran uses a Block Schedule, so every other week, I will be doing what I did today, which is talking to/helping the teacher and sitting in on a study hall. Next Wednesday will be the first time that I actually observe an English class.
First of all, I must apologize for how long it has been since I’ve posted here. Life has been outrageously busy! All for the good though. My plans for school and work have changed so many times over the past couple months. I’ve gone back and forth from graduating in December to staying until May 2011. I have finally decided that I will be staying in Oswego until next May. I just can’t let go yet!
I attended a conference in Boston this past weekend for ACPA (American College Personnel Association) and LOVED it! My dream is to work in student affairs at a college or university and ACPA is an organization for student affairs professionals. I was able to meet other students who want to work in student affairs. It was an amazing experience. I never realized how intense my emotions could get when I meet people who have as much passion as I do about where they want to work. I was able to meet so many incredible people who have experienced graduate school and the beginning of their careers in student affairs. They were so inspirational and motivating. The conference was two days and it was called NextGen for next generation, obviously It was preceding the annual ACPA Convention. Can I just say SO MUCH FUN! Melissa and Sean were amazing, they were the coordinators of the program and did a wonderful job. I learned so much and connected to so many people. I know I have made so many new friends.
I have decided to stay at Oswego for multiple reasons. 1. I want to be a student for one more year. I love college and everything that is offered to me. 2. I have the opportunity to take part in a fellowship next year in student affairs. The fellowship will give me the chance to travel and work at other colleges. 3. If I stay the full year and apply to graduate schools for the Fall 2011 semester then I’ll have more opportunities for graduate assistantships.
I have a lot of homework to do, so I must go now. Don’t worry, I will be posting much more often than I have been.
Some people need books, some people need chocolate, I need my camera.
It has been 2 months without my camera being fixed. I am at a loss. I can’t do anything without. My blogs are boring, my videos are not up, my interactive interview tapes are non existent.
Arrrgh, and no not like pirates, like I am a media less junkie.
I am waiting to here back from Enterprise, Target, Sherwin Williams, Enterprise and bunch of no name marketing companies that I applied to in Rochester.
It’s funny to think about how drastically my mood changes when the weather starts to change, when winter starts to become spring. The temperature begins to increase, and more importantly, the snow goes away, and you can start to dress lighter, finally. My Spring Break was great, despite having a lot of work to do. I had so much homework to do for my Lit 396 class, which involved a great deal or reading and writing, I began reading the Sookie Stackhouse series (on which HBO’s True Blood is based) a few weeks ago, and I am still on the first novel, Dead Until Dark, because I have no time to read for pleasure. I was going to bring it home for Spring Break, but I’m glad that I didn’t, because I wouldn’t have had time for it, anyway.
It’s all right, though. Summer is coming really soon, and some of my friends are talking about the possibility of taking online courses, something that I don’t see myself doing. I will most definitely be fully prepared for a three-month break in May when school gets out, and I actually have an exciting plan in motion for July. My boyfriend Ray and I are going out of state (West Virginia, I believe) to go ghost-hunting, and we will be stopping at an old prison that is reported to be haunted in Moundsville, West Virginia. I am really excited and will definitely be blogging about that really soon.
Other exciting news is that on April 1st, my friend Fady from California will be coming to visit and will be staying here for a little over a week. I am really excited about that, because we have been trying to get together for quite a while now, and finally, it’s happening. I can’t wait to show him the lake and take him around the city. He lives not too far from Los Angeles, a suburb of Los Angeles, actually, so he is used to a really busy, chaotic setting, so this will be kind of new to him, as will the weather. It will be sixty to seventy degrees here while we’re outside in shorts and a t-shirt, and he’ll be “freezing” cold since he’s used to really hot temperatures. It will definitely be a really fun and interesting experience, and I can’t wait.
Also on April 1st is the return of my favorite TV show, Fringe. I am really excited about its return; it is returning what looks like an incredible episode titled “Peter.” If you’re someone who doesn’t follow the show, then feel free to tune me out for a few seconds here, but I love the show, and I would even go as far to say that I have an unhealthy obsession with it. I pretty much always love anything that J.J. Abrams does. I loved Alias when it was on and still do. I watch LOST, and Cloverfield is an amazing movie. If there is anyone who is interested, I am starting a Fringe blogsite,
Let’s see, what happened over break? I went to see a school production of Godspell with Ray, which wasn’t bad. I thought that it was really preachy, but the singing and everything was really good. I also got into a musical duo called Nox Arcana. It’s definitely not music for everyone, but there is a lot of piano and organ, which I love, and also a lot of Medieval influence, which I love. It is primarily instrumental music and is very dark and dramatic. I just absolutely love it.
Wednesday, I begin the second day of my Practicum, and unless I am placed into a different classroom, it is primarily going to consist of observing a study hall again, since, as I said in my last Practicum Journal, Corcoran High School used a Block Schedule method, so my Practicum teacher has an English class in the afternoon every other day, which means that every other Wednesday, I observe a study hall. I will most definitely be posting my Journal again, though, so be on the look-out for that, since I will try to post it Wednesday.
The band that identifies itself as a “love metal” band follows its 2007 release, Venus Doom, with Screamworks: Love in Theory and Practice, Chapter 1-13. In its thirteen-year career, HIM has unleashed anthem after anthem, such as “Join Me,” “Buried Alive by Love” and the American success, “Wings of a Butterfly.” The most recent album since Screamworks garnered mild success with “The Kiss of Dawn,” “Bleed Well” and “Passion’s Killing Floor,” featured on the Transformers soundtrack album. Screamworks is, as I believe each of the three albums since and including 2005’s Dark Light have been, a break from the band’s previous work, since it takes on a bit of a more uplifting and happy tone, songs such as “In Venere Veritas,” “Scared to Death” and “Katherine Wheel” acting as examples.
The album opens with the aforementioned “In Venere Vertias,” which opens the album with Ville’s hook, “Let’s fall apart together now.” Venus Doom is an album with which Ville took the opportunity to experiment with his voice, especially on the title track, and he continues to do such on this album, especially on this song, beginning the chorus of the song in a relatively high register with the word “have,” which then rapidly spirals downward into “no fear.” Something that I have always loved about HIM is that it takes risks; it loves to make use of new ideas, and that is exactly why I wholeheartedly disagree with those who have told me in the past that the band is repetitive; no two albums, especially not since and including Dark Light, sound the same.
“In Venere Veritas” works as a great way to begin the album, a lot of energy and a lot of poetic beauty, something that has echoed throughout all thirteen years and seven albums of the band’s career, beginning with 1997’s Greatest Lovesongs, Vol. 666. “Scared to Death” rings with utterly beautiful melodic beauty, while the sheer energy of “Heartkiller” makes it act perfectly as the album’s first single. Other standout tracks include the ballad “Disarm Me (with Your Loneliness),” the desperately seeking “Love, the Hardest Way,” the ridiculously catchy “Ode to Solitude” and “Acoustic Funeral (for Love in Limbo),” which despite the misleadingly dark title, is probably one of HIM’s happiest songs yet. I enjoy, however, every single song on this album. It is the first album in at least a year to which I can’t stop listening, because it is that highly addictive.
The album is definitely one of HIM’s best albums yet, which, to me, says a lot, since the band tends to release masterpiece after masterpiece. This album and 2005’s Dark Light are probably my two favorite albums to date. Something that I love about HIM is that they tend not to repeat ideas and sounds but instead consistently move forward with new and innovative ideas and sounds, and Screamworks: Love in Theory and Practice, Chapter 1-13 is no exception, departing from Venus Doom, which Ville has described as a cross between Metallica and Bullet for My Valentine and instead creating a sound that he has described as “the first time [that] HIM does acknowledge that there is such a thing called happiness.” It is so different, in fact, that many HIM fans are criticizing it for that very reason, but Ville is a new man, sobered up but still making amazing music. I give the album a well-deserved five stars out of five.
I’m sure everyone from Oswego is out on break right now having a great time! I know I am. I’m sitting in the sunny San Diego going to the beach, hanging out with my boyfriend, and getting ready for my first St. Patty’s Day as a 21-year-old! I gave up drinking alcohol for Lent though, so it’s kind of anticlimatic seeing as how I can only drink O’Doulls for the night. But I don’t think that St. Patty’s Day should be all about drinking (although that’s how it’s marketed nowadays).
I remember back in kindergarten when it was St Patty’s in Sacramento, Calif. We went to the cafeteria for lunch and when we came back, our entire classroom was ransacked by “Leprechauns!” There were little green footprints painted on the walkway up to the front door. Once we went inside, we saw that all of the chairs had been overturned and there were more green footprints all over. Our teacher told us that we had to search for the pot of gold the leprechauns left, so we embarked on a treasure hunt all around the room, fearing at the same time that these rambunctious leprechauns were hiding behind the bookshelf watching us try to find their gold.
Now that was fun. I compare that to last year when I went to a party where people had to search for gold coins at the bottom of a vat of jello shots. A little different outcome, I’d say. While in kindergarten we walked away with a bag of chocolate and a stomachache, we now walk away with green jello on our shirts and a hangover in the morning. It doesn’t have to be all about drinking, but drinking does add fun – as long as it’s done responsibly. If you’re laying on the floor in a pool of your own vomit, that’s not too cool, especially if you don’t remember the night before! So.. whether you’re going on a treasure hunt for chocolate or a hangover, take part in modesty!
For those of you coming back to campus next week: come out March 24th to Lanigan 102 at 7:30 p.m. Pro-Peace Council is hosting Randy Kehler, a long-time activist who will be addressing the history and philosophy of nonviolence. For 30 years Kehler has been actively involved in the nonviolence movement that includes the likes of Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. He will be coming to Oswego to lead the discussion on why nonviolence is important in this present time of war, terrorism, genocide and hate crimes.
The talk is free and there will be refreshments afterward, also for free. If you’ve never attended a speech on nonviolence, now is the time to come out and see how relaxing and uplifting talks like this can be!
Wednesday, March 24th, Lanigan 102, 7:30 p.m.