Poetry used to be a passion of mine. I loved getting my thoughts and feelings on paper. And ironically I was not a fan of non-fiction. After deciding to pursue both genres in my creative writing minor, the tables turned. I think that taking a poetry class taught me a lot, but stressed to0 much formalized uniformity to a chaotic passion of mine. There was a time where I thought I only had space for one: non-fiction or poetry…. But recently I have learned, that just like jello, there’s always room for more…

This inspired me to write a poem focusing on the word Space

Spatial Issues

Confined in our own place
Intertwined in our given space
Love life laughs jokes unshared
Stares, grins, moans, sighs placed upon this burden we all share.

Nucleus membrane microscopic motives
Lovely lashes batted by the mystery queen of vision

You can make no sense but people love you
For you are space
Given arrangements

Love in color coded segments

Bubbles of mercy

Facillitated and delegated before thee

In an emergence of your entity
I find additional space for you
Reservations for two

Still Here to Tell the Tale

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another year at SUNY Oswego (or, to freshmen and transfers, welcome to your first year). I, for one, am so ecstatic to be back and am looking forward to my senior year. There are definitely nerve-wracking worries, such as student teaching in the spring (with absolutely no education classes left save the Practicum that I am doing this semester), but I have a fairly good feeling that this will be a really good year, and my hope is that everyone else feels the same way – positive and confident. If you’re new here, just know that, for the most part, I have had a very good experience here at SUNY Oswego. My experience here has been great, not only because I feel like I have had a really good education, but because just about everyone that I have encountered is very friendly and welcoming, and I have yet to experience any kind of persecution due to my sexuality, and that is ultimately the first experience of my life about which I can say that. SUNY Oswego prides itself on being a “safe space” for people, so persecution because of race, religion, sexuality, you name it, is not tolerated, and based on my own experience, it isn’t even something that you have to worry about.

My plans for the future are somewhat complex, as I have yet to sort some problems out. My boyfriend is here and is way behind even though he is the same age because many of his transfer credits don’t count toward classes that he needs to take, so he is considered a junior even though he should be a senior. This means that we will not graduate together, and he will need to stay a year longer than I do, but I am not prepared to leave him behind. I am twenty-one, and he will be twenty-two in November, so we are certainly not children, and I’m more than ready to begin a life with him. I would absolutely love to find an apartment with him by the end of this year, stay in Oswego over the summer, and then complete my graduate work here at SUNY Oswego. However, money has to be taken into consideration, and the job that I have doesn’t pay nearly enough to provide me with confidence as far as saving up for an apartment is concerned, and I neither have the time nor the ability to work a second job (ability only because I have actually tried, and no one hires). I applied to be a DA, figuring that that wouldn’t be a time obstacle because I could get homework done while I was working, but I didn’t get the position, and even if I could rely on someone actually hiring me, there really isn’t anything else I could manage to do, especially since, again, I am doing my student teaching in the spring. There is no way that I could balance that and two jobs. I just hope that, somehow, everything works itself out, because this is really important to me. Does anyone know if it would be possible (and if so, how) to take out a loan to help me pay for an apartment? I am considering this also because the job that I do have is work-study contingent, and although I don’t know for sure, I don’t think that that will still be provided beyond my undergraduate years. Again, I am really looking forward to this year and am hoping for the best. Good luck, everyone.

Gearing Up

Wow, this semester is going to be yet another toughie; I can already tell. Not that anyone would really care to know all of the specifics about my medical life, I’m sure, but I started my semester out with a pilonidal cyst, which, from what I understand, is pretty much the most painful kind of cyst one could get, and believe me, I would know, as it was basically the most amount of pain I’ve ever been in in my whole life, but thankfully, I am just about fully healed now and back on my feet, so to speak.

I haven’t even been to my Literacy class yet, because last week, I wasn’t doing too well, and yesterday, I had to go back to the surgeon for a follow-up. That is quite daunting, because despite my attempts to find out how much work I have missed via emailing the professor, she has not returned the email, so I’m so afraid I’m going to walk in there on Wednesday only to discover that I have a hundred or so pages of reading to do, which would be quite unfortunate considering the fact that I am reading Clarissa by Samuel Richardson this semester for English 365. In case you don’t know what that is, it is a 1500 page book, so it’s going to take me forever to get through it.

As always, there is so much reading to do, and as always, there is so much writing, which I actually don’t mind as much as the reading. The reading is far more time-consuming, and it can be quite mundane when it isn’t really anything that you want to be reading. Every semester, I fool myself into thinking that I can afford to bring books for pleasure up here to read during downtime, and what I forget is that that is something that I get incredibly sparingly, but hey, it’s one step closer, right? I took my Safe Schools Healthy Students exam this previous Saturday and passed the class, so little by little, I am getting there – to being an English teacher, that is. Anyone else care to share how their semester is faring thus far?

Next Semester Is Going to Be Awesome

Well, as I have been saying, the semester is nearing an end. Tomorrow, I have a half-day of Practicum, and then, after next week, there are only two sessions of Practicum left. I can’t believe how close we are to the end; this semester has gone by so quickly, and I am not complaining about that, because stress-wise, it has definitely been my worst so far.

Next semester may not be too much better stress-wise, because I am taking an English class with a-Professor-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. The last time I took a class with this said professor, the professor would give pop writing assignments to be done in class, and I missed one. On top of that, when the professor assigns a major paper, he/she cares far too much about positioning of the margins, how far the heading is from the top, and so forth. I have never had a professor even care about that let alone enforce it as strictly as this one does. They just want it to look professional. I am taking the class with a good friend of mine, though, so I am actually kind of excited about it.

Plus (and forgive me, this is confusing), second-semester sophomores who took their first Education Block last semester are actually taking their third this semester. I can’t remember the exact reasoning for that; it has something to do with a certain Block not being available at a certain time, so next semester, I will actually be taking my second Block, whereas this semester, I am taking my third, so I will already know how to write lesson plans. It should be an easier semester.

Lastly, my boyfriend, Ray, got accepted into Oswego and sent in his deposit on Monday, so he will be here next semester, and I am so excited about that. It is all that I have been talking about for the past few days, ever since I found out, really. I am extremely excited and actually want Winter Break to fly by. We are trying to get into Sheldon, and our fingers are crossed. I live in Mackin now, and I don’t like it. There are a lot of very immature residents here who are supposed to be adults but certainly don’t act like it. Anyway, I will definitely be writing again soon to report on my Practicum experience tomorrow. I hope that you will be reading then. Adios!

A New Day in the Old Town

Well, this semester is going to be so different from last semester; that’s for sure. Last year was great. I mean, sure, there were a couple of bumps in the road, but for the most part, most of my college memories (the good ones) are going to come from my sophomore year. This year, I’m not so sure. I came in early for Welcoming Crew, and now, I am so tired because I worked from 9 AM to 4 PM helping freshmen and transfers move in to Waterbury. I have to do it again on Sunday, and while taking part in a team effort and putting a smile on people’s faces is great and very rewarding, it is a very demanding job for a volunteer position, and there isn’t exactly justice in it, either. Most of us did the lifting, while a few worked at the tables and handed out mattress pads and cable whips, and I don’t mean to complain about that, but seven hours of manual labor is a big deal, and like I said, I have to do this again on Sunday.

Then, to top it all off, my roommate moved in today, and his mother was a monstrous mess. She came in to the room and yelled at me for having arranged the room the way that I did, claiming that the way that my bed was positioned took up part of his side of the room, which I don’t think it did. It was right about halfway, and if it was taking up his side of the room, it was by an inch or two. Anyway, she was having a fit, telling me that I had no right to do that, that I had no permission, that she was told that I couldn’t do anything with the room until I had talked to my roommate and signed paperwork with him. Last year, my roommate and I set up the room the way that I had it set up (the idea behind it being that it allowed more space in the room), and we didn’t have to sign anything, but she claimed that nothing in the room was allowed to be moved without signed permission.

Then, what I found funny was that when my roommate came back from his car, he couldn’t care less. He didn’t care how the room was set up, but she was on the verge of tears in relation to something that was fixable by my rearranging the room, a relatively simple task. The worst part is that he is twenty-two years old, so she was treating him like a five-year old and treating me like vermin who was bent on eating him. It was just a very upsetting experience that did not have to be that way at all, but what’s done is done. I am seriously considering moving into Riggs, though, not just because of that but because I feel like most of my friends aren’t even in Waterbury, anymore.

Anyway, I had a fantastic summer, and I was very, very sad when it was over; I still am. I’m pretty sure I blogged about my trip to West Virginia, but just in case I didn’t or you didn’t read it, I went to the West Virginia State Penitentiary (no longer in use) to ghost-hunt with my boyfriend, Ray, and it was so much fun. It was adventurous and a good opportunity for me to explore something that fascinates me (I know that we’re going somewhere in Ohio the first week of October). Then, for about the last three weeks of the summer, I lived with Ray, so needless to say, I did not want the summer to end, but I am hoping for a great semester. I just say that I have my doubts because everything seems so different. I miss last year’s roommate and some of the people that used to live in Waterbury but don’t anymore. It all seems like such a big change, but I’m going to do my best to cope if I can’t get into Riggs, which is where most of my friends are.

Sixth Day of Practicum

What I first did when I arrived at Corcoran High School today was go to the library. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a great deal of time to browse, but I have to say that I am very impressed by the library. There are plenty of books, and it is a very warm and inviting atmosphere. Student artwork is on display on top of bookshelves, and I am very impressed with that, too.

I observed two different classes today. The first was Gear-Up. If I haven’t mentioned Gear-Up before, it is sort of like a Study Hall, except that it is a time for students to take advantage of tutors from Syracuse University. Unfortunately, a lot of students who could use the extra help don’t take advantage of it, though, and that is sad. Secondly, I observed Ms. Patapow’s English class.

Ms. Patapow, before I observed either, was incredibly helpful. I needed a copy of the school’s Code of Conduct, so she gave me that. She also gave me a copy of the new ELA specifications. Although the latter said document is not required for my EDU 301 class, it is still a good resource to have to have. I recall taking the ELA in eleventh grade, and it was two days long with two exams. Now, it is only one day long with only one essay. It is interesting to see such a striking difference. Ms. Patapow is not happy with the change, saying that the more useful of the two essays is the one that was scrapped, and she is also not happy with the fact that teachers were just recently notified of this change, which does not give them very much time to review with their students using the new specifications.

A student during Study Hall was rapping, which Ms. Patapow thought was funny for a little while. However, she eventually grew tired of it, especially when he began to swear. He used the F-word and also used the word “gay” as an insult. Ms. Patapow was not happy about this, which I appreciated.

The English class was, as usual, difficult to get quiet. It started out doing a quiz, and then it reviewed vocabulary. Throughout this entire time, most of the class talked while doing its work as Ms. Patapow waited for it to finish. When it finally did, they went over the vocabulary that they had just reviewed, and then they read the first twelve pages of the final chapter of John Steinbeck’s The Pearl.

Spring Is Finally Here!

It’s funny to think about how drastically my mood changes when the weather starts to change, when winter starts to become spring. The temperature begins to increase, and more importantly, the snow goes away, and you can start to dress lighter, finally. My Spring Break was great, despite having a lot of work to do. I had so much homework to do for my Lit 396 class, which involved a great deal or reading and writing, I began reading the Sookie Stackhouse series (on which HBO’s True Blood is based) a few weeks ago, and I am still on the first novel, Dead Until Dark, because I have no time to read for pleasure. I was going to bring it home for Spring Break, but I’m glad that I didn’t, because I wouldn’t have had time for it, anyway.
It’s all right, though. Summer is coming really soon, and some of my friends are talking about the possibility of taking online courses, something that I don’t see myself doing. I will most definitely be fully prepared for a three-month break in May when school gets out, and I actually have an exciting plan in motion for July. My boyfriend Ray and I are going out of state (West Virginia, I believe) to go ghost-hunting, and we will be stopping at an old prison that is reported to be haunted in Moundsville, West Virginia. I am really excited and will definitely be blogging about that really soon.
Other exciting news is that on April 1st, my friend Fady from California will be coming to visit and will be staying here for a little over a week. I am really excited about that, because we have been trying to get together for quite a while now, and finally, it’s happening. I can’t wait to show him the lake and take him around the city. He lives not too far from Los Angeles, a suburb of Los Angeles, actually, so he is used to a really busy, chaotic setting, so this will be kind of new to him, as will the weather. It will be sixty to seventy degrees here while we’re outside in shorts and a t-shirt, and he’ll be “freezing” cold since he’s used to really hot temperatures. It will definitely be a really fun and interesting experience, and I can’t wait.
Also on April 1st is the return of my favorite TV show, Fringe. I am really excited about its return; it is returning what looks like an incredible episode titled “Peter.” If you’re someone who doesn’t follow the show, then feel free to tune me out for a few seconds here, but I love the show, and I would even go as far to say that I have an unhealthy obsession with it. I pretty much always love anything that J.J. Abrams does. I loved Alias when it was on and still do. I watch LOST, and Cloverfield is an amazing movie. If there is anyone who is interested, I am starting a Fringe blogsite,
Let’s see, what happened over break? I went to see a school production of Godspell with Ray, which wasn’t bad. I thought that it was really preachy, but the singing and everything was really good. I also got into a musical duo called Nox Arcana. It’s definitely not music for everyone, but there is a lot of piano and organ, which I love, and also a lot of Medieval influence, which I love. It is primarily instrumental music and is very dark and dramatic. I just absolutely love it.
Wednesday, I begin the second day of my Practicum, and unless I am placed into a different classroom, it is primarily going to consist of observing a study hall again, since, as I said in my last Practicum Journal, Corcoran High School used a Block Schedule method, so my Practicum teacher has an English class in the afternoon every other day, which means that every other Wednesday, I observe a study hall. I will most definitely be posting my Journal again, though, so be on the look-out for that, since I will try to post it Wednesday.

Some Random Thoughts

Sometimes, I wonder if maybe I post entries that are somewhat too personal. I mean, my understanding is that the purpose is to share college-related experiences that will maybe help high school students considering SUNY Oswego understand what life here is like, and sometimes, I share very personal stories, and maybe that isn’t appropriate; I don’t know. I do the best that I can to connect everything to my life here at Oswego, so hopefully, I am doing that successfully. I do, however, remember one blogger last semester suggesting that we do branch out a bit and talk about life experiences and such, so hopefully, I am still staying in the realm of what is appropriate.

Anyway, life has been pretty good lately. My friend David, who did live in Scales after transferring here just this semester, is now living in Waterbury with me. He moved in today, as in Tuesday. Additionally, I am really beginning to warm up to my EDU class. Today, we initiated our first discussion, and it was really interesting to discuss what we can do to make a difference in the school setting. Friday, I have to go to Sheldon at 11:30 to have a day and time set up for my Practicum, and I am feeling pretty bittersweet about that.

I am very happy to finally be taking part in courses pertaining to my major, courses that I actually want to be taking, but at the same time, it is so much work, and it is not that I am not disciplined. It could very well be that I am just taking too much work on myself. I will have that lengthy Practicum once a week, I have a Workstudy job, and additionally, I am hoping to tutor for English 271 this semester. Needless to say, it’s a packed semester with not a lot of time to myself, and that is my point. I am disciplined, and I do like staying busy, but also, I like having time to relax, and it seems like I don’t get very much time to relax; I don’t even get a little.

If you are indeed a high school student reading this and you’re considering SUNY Oswego as a possibility, please don’t let anything that I am saying to you dissuade you. I love college; I really do. No matter where you go to school, you’re going to get a lot of work, especially when you start getting heavy into your major. It’s simply part of the college experience, and it’s your job to find ways to balance that. For example, I have no issue balancing the life of a college student with a social life. I often do homework with friends and such. It’s really not that difficult. At the same time, however, you need to refrain from having too much fun if the amount of school work doesn’t allow it. Your education needs to be your top priority, and that kind of attitude is the only kind of attitude that is going to bring you success as a college student. If you don’t take it seriously, then your grades are going to reflect that, and that’s really all grades are; they are a reflection of how much you care.

For the past couple of days, I have been writing a lot. I like to write poetry. It really isn’t anything spectacular in my opinion, but it is something that I enjoy doing. It first allows me to unleash emotions and therefore feel them to the greatest extent and then allows me to free them. It’s incredible, and within the past couple of days, I think that I have written about five poems. Some are really short while others are a bit longer. It all depends on how much that I have to say. I bought a small-sized notebook at the campus store yesterday so that I would have something to write in if something spontaneous ever pops up, which does sometimes happen. I can, in fact, recall one called “Jet Engine” that I wrote while I was in a History class. Sometimes, I just get a spontaneous urge to write.

I feel like I am starting to get sick, but that isn’t really any surprise. With this spontaneous, unpredictable weather, it would be hard not to get sick. It seems like a good majority of my residence hall is sick. Anyway, as fellow LOST fans will know, the season premiere was on tonight, and this is an epic time for LOST fans, since this is the final season. The journey is almost over, and that is definitely sad. It’s too bad that the show has to be ending, but at the same time, every good story must come to an end. My two favorite shows on television right now are LOST and Fringe, and I can’t wait until Thursday. The final episode of Fringe before the spring hiatus will air, and I cannot wait for this episode. It looks like finally, the story is returning to the Cortexiphan arc of the mythology, and fellow Fringe fans will know what I am talking about. Anyway, I am sure that I will be writing again soon, but in the meantime, talk to you soon.

Back to School Soon

Well, as promised, I am reporting on how my life in the past week has unfolded, and I am happy to say that it has unfolded in my favor. My mom has, more or less, decided to help me, and Wednesday was magical. Ray went to lunch with my mom and I, as planned, and afterward, we spent the day together at my house. My father was aware but displayed no problem with it, which means that hopefully, this is not an issue that I will run into again. Today, I saw him, as he spent the day with me and a group of friends. We attempted to see the Lovely Bones, but it wasn’t in showing in my hometown, and it was sold out at the next closest theater. We instead went shopping, and we had a great day.

My friend David, the one who will be living in Oswego this coming semester, received some good (not the best, but good) news yesterday. He will be living in Scales on the third floor with a student named Jacob. I can’t recall Jacob’s last name, but hopefully, he is a nice person with whom David will get along. We tried to room together this semester, but we tried unsuccessfully. Residence Life and Housing told him that because he is starting late, they have no room anywhere on campus that is completely empty. I don’t really care, because I really like my current roommate, but I just hope that David likes his, as well. Anyway, since he is in Scales and I am in Waterbury, we will be right next door to each other, which is good.

I can’t believe that I go back to school a week from tomorrow. That thought really is quite daunting. It seems as if the break went by so quickly. I hate that I might not be home for Valentine’s Day, but I am going to try to be. It falls on a Sunday this year, which means that I probably will not be spending the actual date with Ray, but we can always spend that Saturday together if I am able to come home that weekend. Anyway, if anything interesting comes up, I will try to write another blog entry before this coming weekend; otherwise, see everyone on campus next week!