NYC Career Connectors

The Fall semester was definitely an exhausting one for me. From juggling classes and my teaching assistant position, to my job and my two positions at WTOP10-TV, I was looking forward to Winter break by mid-November. My ultimate plan for Winter Break 2012 was to catch up on all the sleep I could possibly catch up on in six weeks. I also knew that I was going to attend the NYC Career Connectors event held by the SUNY Oswego Alumni Association.

NYC Career Connectors is this amazing event that takes place during Winter break, this year it was on January 10th, that gives the opportunity for SUNY Oswego students to come down to New York City for a day and network with the various Alumni of our school. This was my second time attending this event and it was definitely a very exciting time.

One of the perks of attending Career Connectors is being able to go on a tour of a location that is pertinent to a student’s major. This year, some of the places students could have toured included Madison Square Garden, NBC Universal, KMPG LLP, Kathy Hilton Showroom, Perry Capital, and NEP Broadcasting. I was lucky enough to attend the tour at NEP Broadcasting, and it was an opportunity of a life time.

For those of you who do not know what NEP Broadcasting is, they are a company that gained notoriety for their broadcasting trucks. What they essentially do is build and rent trucks that are basically a control room on wheels. They are also known for their non-mobile studios and some of their more famous clients in NYC include The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Unfortunately, we did not get to tour those studios, but we did get to see one that they are currently building and working on. It was definitely a great chance for broadcasting students to see how a studio is built and Tony Minecola, our guide and NEP employee, was definitely very good at answering questions that any students had about the broadcasting industry. I learned a whole lot and gained some insight as to what to do when I graduate and am seeking a job.

After the tour ended, it was basically time for us to trek on over to Fashion Institute of Technology, where the main networking event was taking place. After a speech from this years Keynote Speaker, Marcia Thompson-Young, and great networking tips from Gary Morris, students quickly lined up to speak to all the various alumni.

There were over 30 alumni who attended, and I was lucky enough to speak to three who gave me really good advice and even critiqued my resumé! It really was an amazing event and I am very glad I was able to meet some alumni and make some great connections!

Tony Minecola showing students some of the equipment

TOswego students get to tour studio currently being built

Professor Jane Winslow speaking with NEP Engineer Rob Statkus

Students lining up at FIT to speak with different Alumni!

Group picture at NEP Broadcasting! :)

Winter Break So Far & Student Teaching Very Soon

It’s hard to believe that the break is almost over, yet it is; there is only a week until it’s time to go back to Oswego, and I have very mixed feelings about that. Normally, my sentiment would be, yes, yes, get me away from this godawful prison so that I can be in Oswego with Ray and get back to my studies and my life with my friends, but I have spent the majority of my break with Ray in Connecticut, so I’m not in any kind of hurry to get back, especially since my student-teaching is this semester. I can’t believe I just said that; as you can see, I’m nervous.

It may sound like I don’t have much motivation to do my student-teaching, which could potentially be a scary situation if teaching is what you want to put your life into; however, as I said, I’m just nervous. Going to bed early and getting up early every day is something that is going to take a great deal of adjustment, as I haven’t had to do it since high school. I’m not a morning person; I am, in fact, a night owl. I’m usually happiest and most active at night, so going to bed early isn’t easy. Additionally, what’s definitely more monumental is that I am nervous about teaching itself. Teaching is something much different than learning how to do laundry or bake cookies; it isn’t something that can be perfected after one or two tries. It requires years of experience to master, and even teachers that have been teaching for many years will say that they still make mistakes, so I’m not so self-important that I would think that I’m going to be a good teacher right away, and I know that there is a very strong possibility that I won’t be well-liked by most of my students. I will be at Oswego High School for my first term, and that, at least, is good news because I don’t have a vehicle, and that’s well within walking distance from where I live on campus. I will be writing again as soon as I can.

Just Another Canvas of Color

It really is amazing what coffee can do; it isn’t necessarily a good kind of amazing in this case, but it is amazing nonetheless. It is 8:05 AM, and I haven’t had a wink of sleep yet, and this is the third night that this has happened, not getting much sleep, that is. No, don’t get the wrong idea; I haven’t done three all-nighters in a row, not in that sense, anyway; I can’t even do one without passing out from sleep deprivation; no, I have been sleeping during the day, but that isn’t good, and it certainly doesn’t make me too happy, but trust me, it isn’t by choice. I drink the coffee for a reason; I know that because of the mindset in which I am at night, I’m not going to sleep, anyway, so I would rather not sleep and be awake and alert than not sleep and be miserable. Makes sense, right? I think so. I mean, I try to lie down at night, and all I can do is lie wide awake, alone in myself, and it isn’t too much fun.

Why am I in this mindset in which I can’t sleep? Well, it’s kind of pathetic, really. Ray has been in Pennsylvania, and I consequently haven’t seen him since Sunday, and I can actually feel the distance. He is hundreds of miles away, and I can actually feel that. I try to sleep at night knowing that if something serious were to happen to either one of us, I couldn’t be there for him, and he couldn’t be there for me. Well, we are madly in love, so that sounds pretty logical, right? You would think so, except it isn’t like he’s gone for a month. He’s only gone for a few days; he’s coming home tomorrow, and presumably, I can go back over there tomorrow when he gets home, so why can’t I just accept that? Why can’t I be an adult and just accept that I can’t be with him every minute of the day? While I do know the answer to that, it doesn’t make it any less pathetic.

While I don’t mean to advertise my personal feelings in such a public domain, I have learned from past experiences that it helps, and I honestly miss it. I used to do this much more often; before Ray and I began dating, I had many, many nights during which I couldn’t sleep because I was enduring an incredibly difficult time in my life and was loaded with self-loathing and regret, and although I don’t want to get into the specifics as they really are much too personal, I guess that that is more or less partly what I’m doing now – hating myself for mistakes that I’ve made and wrongdoings that I have inflicted upon others. Why does it hurt so much? It hurts so much, because I can say that I’m sorry until I’m blue in the face, even to myself, and even if those people forgive me and even if I somehow learn to forgive myself, I can’t erase time; time is a frozen dimension that can’t be altered, so those mistakes and wrongdoings are always going to exist no matter what.

I find comfort, though, at the moment, and of all things, it is in materials. For Christmas, Ray bought me two books – Prom by Laurie Halse Anderson and Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, amongst other gifts, and they lie here on my desk waiting to be read, even though they are unfortunately midway down a very long list, and I take comfort in them. They mean something to me because I know that a lot of thought went into them, and that is because a lot of thought goes into me. This relationship is the realest, most intense aspect of my entire life, and it knocks me off my feet everyday for that very reason. I can’t stand being separated, even if it’s only for a few days. I can’t stand not having him to cuddle with, not having him to hug, to kiss, to tell him how I feel, and this small bedroom begins to feel so incredibly lonely even after a mere few hours, which causes days to feel like weeks.

Luckily, though, it isn’t something that I have to deal with too much longer. He will be home tomorrow, and I believe that I will see him then, since he will be leaving very early in the morning. I talked to him last night for a very long time, and I took a lot of comfort in that, too. Additionally, going back to Oswego isn’t going to be difficult this time; in fact, I am looking forward to it, and that’s because he will be going, too. He applied and got accepted, and so we will be together everyday and will be taking part in activities together everyday – doing homework, eating, shopping, and so forth, and I can’t even begin to explain how excited I am. It’s our first shot at this, our first shot at living a life together on our own, and I can’t contain the excitement.

People like Fady and David used to tell me all the time that my writing was inspirational to them, and that was inspirational to me, because it made me want to keep doing it. I guess that that’s why I’m doing it now, not only in hopes of making myself feel better but also in hopes of maybe making someone else feel better, but I don’t mean to overestimate myself, because honestly, if those two had never said anything, I never would have thought anything, because I write because and only because it’s something that I enjoy doing, not because I find it to be a talent. However, if someone does find some sort of beauty in what I have to say, then who am I to deny that person that beauty? Who am I to say that that person has no right to be inspired by what I have to say? I’m only human, and I do like to be told that what I do is appreciated. In the meantime, I just wanted to tell the world how life is, I guess. Ray, when you read this, be reminded of what you surely already know – I love you so much, and I fully intend to marry you one day soon, one way or another; my world shines because of you.